The Tahirih Justice Center

I was born in Canada, and growing up, my parents had a volatile, abusive marriage. When I was 24, I married my first husband, and we had two sons together. I was in love, but over time, he became more and more abusive. I finally left him when he beat me in front of our children – I was determined to break the cycle from my own childhood and show my kids a healthy relationship.

When I finally felt ready to move on from my abusive first marriage, I joined an online weight loss group. I met “Keith” through the group, and we quickly grew close. When I traveled to the U.S. to meet him in person for the first time, seeing him felt like putting the final piece of the puzzle in place – later that same year, we were married.

I moved to the U.S. with my boys, and within a month of our marriage, things began to fall apart. I found out he had been cheating on me with multiple partners and had actually been married to his ex-wife up until a few months before our wedding. When I confronted him about this behavior, he became violent and tried to kick me out of our house.

He became financially, emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive, isolating me from friends and family. He also used my immigration status against me. After our wedding, he said he would help with filing for my green card, but later refused to do so, accusing me of planning to leave once it was approved. He also threatened several times to call ICE to deport me.

When the police served Keith with a protection order, he told the sheriffs that I was an illegal immigrant and urged them to report me to ICE. I was not home at the time, but my children were, and I was watching via the security camera. Keith kept insisting that I was “not here with anything legally.” To which the sheriff said, “Oh, maybe we will have to report her to ICE.”

He also warned me that if I ever contacted the police, he would accuse me of hitting him so that I would be arrested. For years, I looked for ways to escape the relationship. But I was afraid of how he would retaliate or what would happen with my immigration status. I didn’t want to be detained or deported and separated from my kids.

Finally, I found Tahirih after searching for help online. I learned that there could be a path to immigration status without my abuser’s cooperation. From the moment I connected with the attorneys and social workers at Tahirih, I felt relief. I learned that I have so many options to protect myself and my boys and start building what I need for an independent life free from my abuser.

I’m still at the beginning of my journey to safety and justice, but with Tahirih as my support system, I’m not as anxious and afraid anymore. For years, I stayed quiet and didn’t tell anyone what was happening in my marriage. I thought asking for help might put me and my family in danger. But I’m not going to be silent anymore. I am finding safety and justice for myself and for my kids to show them that healthy relationships don’t look like this, and we all deserve happiness and safety.